In today’s poly-crises world of intense and all around polarization, it is a challenging task for every one of us to remain centered, inspired, or even joyful. We are experiencing global conflicts that seem hopeless, economic swings that keep us on survival mode, and social divides that make us conform tightly while canceling each other at every turn. In addition, the speed of daily living has gotten so fast that there is little to no opportunity to reflect and digest our daily experiences, introspect on what needs changing, and make room for tomorrow…basically, living our lives today is simply exhausting.
So we go on reading books and listening to podcasts for guidance on how to live this very fast life with a semblance of balance and equanimity. Well meaning outside help ends up elongating our daily to-do list: wake up earlier to meditate, go to the gym on our short lunch break, accommodate self-care routines, fit in play time, sleep for 7+ hours… Our days get longer, fuller, faster, more disorienting and heavily prescriptive. All along, we are bathed in an unhelpful and unproductive inner chatter of not working enough, being productive enough, feeling good enough, etc.
In my coaching practice, people often come to me seeking counsel for being overwhelmed, disoriented, and anxious about their daily living. Their first tendency is always to ask for more tools and a prescription that will alleviate their symptoms. But with an already way too long of a daily to-do list, I have never been able to effectively “add” anything to anyone’s list unless and until they make a trade with me: trade me one habit (or more!) for every one habit I give to you.
What is an item that is on your daily to-do list that you can trade me? One that if you were to take it off your list would give you time, energy, and a little breathing room without much impact on your daily life? I know, I know…your first reaction is likely: “I cannot remove anything off my list, all these items are very necessary!” But you would be surprised, as you unpack and dive into your list, how much of your daily deeds are tradable for peace of mind and time to breathe during your day.
So look again, and preferably rank your to-do list from “must do” to “should do”. Now, go to the bottom of your list and ask yourself: is this item worth my time, my energy, my enthusiasm, my inspiration, my head space, my peace of mind? What would happen if I were to do this on a weekly or monthly basis instead? How would it feel to remove it entirely? Carefully watch the impact of having one item off your list and let your entire body and mind participate in this experience. This is not an exclusively intellectual exercise: your entire being has a say in it. You might be surprised to feel lighter in your body, your shoulders may have come down a bit. Perhaps your fists or jaw unclenched, and you may have even let a sigh out. Notice if your breathing changed and how your thinking head feels…all of this from taking one item off your list! That is how overwhelming we are in this 21st century of ours.
I have had clients take off so many items off their list that they initially thought were un-tradable: reading a book a week to keep up with our “should’s”, catching up on our podcasts just to check it off the list, attending family or community events to keep up appearances, hours scrolling on social media out of fear of missing out, daily posting just because, etc. None of these are bad or wrong, they could even be healthy or fun. That being said, you may want to “consciously” weigh each activity against your daily overwhelm and battery depletion. Make the choice that will fill you up, inspire you, nurture you, and build you up. Your “should’s”, public appearances, and fear of missing out will all be there anyway…they have got no where to go. And they live only as long as you give them time and attention.
You are not alone in this very fast daily living. Choose your peace of mind and trade a habit for it. Keep walking dear reader 🙂